Lonely asteroid: 2013

Sporadic musings

03.09.2018

Bagdenborg’s Conjecture.

Take with a pinch of salt or Smile or do a LOL. But this is serious business dealing with science – especially pseudo science! Bagdenborg is a maverick professor who is the relentless practitioner of fentologic and fentoscience. (For an explanation of those two neologisms, you have to read two books, Jestus, and Jestus on Rampage! And a forthcoming one, Fentoscience.) The venerable professor’s conjecture begins with the observation of particles, say of air. Air particles move freely and enter into any space under normal conditions. Specifically take space A, your house. If the doors are open, air (and dust particles) can move freely inside the house; both in and out. Similarly, if there is an open container, like a box or a jug even, the above particles move freely in and out of the containers.

The professor’s next step of ratiocination involves jumping to more refined particles than dust; molecules. Molecules too can move across borders; your favourite spray of perfume does just that. The chemicals of the perfume (molecules) can move across borders (note the clever introduction of the word, border); for example, your nostrils, lungs, the open door, windows etc. Still more finer particles like ions exist, which too exhibit the same audacity (that is the professor’s word) of crossing borders. You can find examples of that in textbooks of chemistry, electrolysis and so on.

Now, there are even more finer particles, called fundamental particles. They exist inside the shells of atoms – electrons. Electrons also cross borders (from atom to atom) under particular circumstances. Your electricity is a most common example.

Then there are tougher customers like protons and neutrons residing deeper inside the atom, in its nucleus. Normally, they are not peripatetic; they stay put inside the nucleus. (A neutron of say, atom A, does not take a fancy to saunter outside and peep into the nucleus of atom B.) It takes extreme coaxing to make them come out – like splitting an atom, as in a nuclear bomb!

There are still more smaller particles (entities, ghosts) in physics. That is science for you – you think you have reached a limit, and they will say, nay, and show further smaller, bigger, complicated things. Those entities are called quarks which come in many shapes and colours (yeah). The proud, independent sturdy neutrons, protons and electrons of yesterday are now known to be made out of these strange quarks. (Yeah, again; the quarks also possess quality like strangeness. And again that, is science for you.)

Ok. The main point is that these innermost particles do not migrate from one atom (nucleus) to another.

But our above-mentioned professor (he is not a quack) maintains that all these quarks and neutrons and protons migrate, (travel abroad so to say) visit other nuclei constantly and everywhere. If an intra-nucleus particle leaves its place and migrates, the result will be unimaginable. The whole of matter in the universe will be plunged into chaos and catastrophe. Professor Bagdenborg knows this, naturally. So, you may ask him, how come the world is stable.

Simple, says, professor. For every quark which leaves its abode, another quark from another abode compensates by entering its (the first quark’s) house! This may look like unnecessary acrobatics, you may feel. But professor points out seriously that nothing in the universe can be static. If everything in the universe becomes static, he points out, that will be the end of the universe as we know. “Ask the guys who invented the strange animal called entropy,” he says with a smug smile.

Ok, you say you may agree with that reluctantly. But how do the particles manage to migrate so effortlessly? As we said above, to dislodge an intra-nucleus particle from its nucleus requires a lot of effort.

Oh, that? Our professor smiles wanly. “I suppose you have heard of wormholes in space. They are more ubiquitous than you thought.”

12.04.2018

Allphabet

This is a simple exercise in fancy recreation. As you are well aware, inventors, geniuses and Mensa folks get their brilliant ideas while shaving. I admit I was guilty of shaving, the other day; so do not blame me…

The series of linked thoughts ran as follows. I was looking up the meaning of a word I came across in a book. Then I suddenly remembered that the English language contains now more than a million words. A million – think of it! Then it occurred to me to know how many words the book (that I was reading) contained. Luckily, I was reading a digital copy of it on my pc, and so I made the standard ‘word-count’. The book had about 1,60,000 words; sufficiently big book. Yet, adamantly, I was not satisfied (for a fraction of a second only). I wondered if there was a book that contained ALL THE WORDS of the English language!! The next thought was that it was a ridiculous thought. Such a book, containing all the words did exist and it was called a complete dictionary. Still, my adamant inner child thought of a book, not a dictionary. “You know, the dictionary, though it contains all the words, has them all arranged alphabetically . It makes no sense if you go on reading from beginning to end! The words in a book, though apparently random to look at, are juxtaposed meaningfully. Moreover, each word occurs only once in a dictionary. Next piece of thought – then, such a book as this will contain many many millions of words! Is there such book? Has anybody written such an one?...Ok, leave it, the idea may look preposterous. This led me to think in the reverse direction. A good-sized novel/book may contain about 1,20,000 to 1,60,000 words, as per word count. If you leave out the repetitions – usually there would be a lot of them, like the inevitable prepositions, conjunctions and quite a few of adjectives, verbs and adverbs. Thus, in essence, the actual number of words in such a book may be very little indeed. I used the ‘find and replace’ tool of the MS Word on the book I was reading. It was a shock and a kind of revelation. The book (famous, and a best-seller) bursting with 1,60,000 words, was reduced to scant, unbelievable 3000 words only!

This naturally led to the next progression in thought. By doing a kind of jugglery (underhand?) even these words could be further reduced by cutting down on repetitions. In fact, any book can be processed through this channel. Repetitions, you wonder? Yeah, not words, but letters!! Thus, any book can be cut down to the barest minimum; the same 26 letters of the alphabet!

As soon as the idea occurred, The Inner Child could not contain itself. I began cutting down each letter of the alphabet from a small chosen paragraph in a book and compared the result at each step. It was fun. You can see the result below. I have quickened the process by cutting down the letters in batches, to avoid the tedium.

Just for fun. See below, and smile – like a child, eh?

Original paragraph

“When I arrived at the NG University last year, it was situated at three hundred kilometres east of California,” professor Bagdenborg announced. His colleague was not amused; his nose had turned up a few millimetres, in the pure air of the campus. When the professor made the same statement in the classroom, an irrepressible voice had asked in a deadpan voice, after a very brief period of amused silence, “Where is it situated, now, sir?” Allowing the barely audible wave of titters to subside, professor Bagdenborg had replied in a dignified tone, “The co-ordinates of its three dimensions have remained constant. That of time, the fourth dimension, has changed, naturally.” The class broke into laughter.

Results of successive cutting down of letters:-

1.     (a)“When I rrived t the NG University lst yer, it ws situted t three hundred kilometres est of Cliforni,” professor Bgdenborg nnounced. His collegue ws not mused; his nose hd turned up few millimetres, in the pure ir of the cmpus. When the professor mde the sme sttement in the clssroom, n irrepressible voice hd sked in dedpn voice, fter very brief period of mused silence, “Where is it situted, now, sir?” llowing the brely udible wve of titters to subside, professor Bgdenborg hd replied in dignified tone, “The co-ordintes of its three dimensions hve remined constnt. Tht of time, the fourth dimension, hs chnged, nturlly.” The clss broke into lughter.

2.     (bcd) “When I rrive t the NG University lst yer, it ws situte t three hunre kilometres est of liforni,” professor genorg nnoune. His ollegue ws not muse; his nose h turne up few millimetres, in the pure ir of the mpus. When the professor me the sme sttement in the lssroom, n irrepressile voie h ske in epn voie, fter very rief perio of muse silene, “Where is it situte, now, sir?” llowing the rely uile wve of titters to susie, professor genorg h replie in ignifie tone, “The o-orintes of its three imensions hve remine onstnt. Tht of time, the fourth imension, hs hnge, nturlly.” The lss roke into lughter.

3.     (efgh)“Wn I rriv t t N Univrsity lst yr, it ws situt t tr unr kilomtrs st o liorni,” prossor nor nnoun. is ollu ws not mus; is nos turn up w millimtrs, in t pur ir o t mpus. Wn t prossor m t sm sttmnt in t lssroom, n irrprssil voi sk in pn voi, tr vry ri prio o mus siln, “Wr is it situt, now, sir?” llowin t rly uil wv o tittrs to susi, prossor nor rpli in inii ton, “T o-orints o its tr imnsions v rmin onstnt. Tt o tim, t ourt imnsion, s n, nturlly.” T lss rok into lutr.

4.     (ijklmn)“W rrv t t Uvrsty st yr, t ws stut t tr ur otrs st o or,” prossor or ou. s ou ws ot us; s os tur up w trs, t pur r o t pus. W t prossor t s sttt t ssroo, rrprss vo s   p vo, tr vry r pro o us s, “Wr s t stut, ow, sr?” ow t ry u wv o tttrs to sus, prossor or rp    to, “T o-orts o ts tr sos v r ostt. Tt o t, t ourt so, s , tury.” T ss ro to utr.

5.     (opqrstuv)“W      y y, w        ,”   .   w ;       w ,       . W         ,         ,   y     , “W   , w, ?” w y w    ,        , “ -       .   ,   , , y.”

6.     (wxyz)“        ,          ,”   .     ;        ,       .          ,         ,        , “   , , ?”         ,        , “ -       .   ,   , , .”     .

Nice, no?

17.2.2018

ESP – A shaven face brings no guests.

This is one more addition to the group of records of strange and/or meaningful coincidences that I am collecting. There is nothing earth-shaking about it, but nevertheless I have to accept that a strange coincidence is a strange coincidence. It must have happened a number of times before I noticed it. (Naturally) It is like this:-

I am living with my brother for the past two years, having shifted from another city. (May be, that shifting my location has got something to do with this.) Almost everyday three of my brother’s friends come here, to meet him at his house, about ten in the night; just for the pleasure of chitchatting and planning some events, and so on. This has been a fairly regular affair from decades.

Now comes the intriguing bit. I shave once in 7-10 days. (Health, environment, mood and many other variables play their parts here.) “So, what?” you may tempted to taunt. I am formatting this in italics, because I have been reading the novel, Origin and the proliferation of italics therein has been haunting me. In keeping with the spirit of that book, you get the answer down below. Brace yourself for another breeze of italics.

The day I shave myself, those friends of my brother do not visit us! No, I am not being facetious; I am dead serious. I did not notice it, probably in the first couple of instances. Then it became a regular occurrence and I could not simply miss it. Gradually I became fascinated with it and began to eagerly wait for the nightly visits of the friends every time I shaved.

Sure enough they never turned up on that particular day! And sure enough they would visit us the next day and the next day and its next. This has been going on for more than two years! I am observing this with a scientific spirit. Of course, they do sometimes come on the day I shave. Such occasions are extremely rare. In terms of percentage, they constitute about one percent – very impressive, you must admit.

This phenomenon, and many other similar ones I have written about elsewhere in my blog, have convinced me that there are a mysterious connections between seemingly unrelated and random events. If you want to view it soberly, you can connect it with paranormal phenomena. If you want a bit of humour, you can refer it to the quantum entanglement guys. They are more serious about their subject. What is more, quantum is the current buzzword. It can explain anything in the universe. Bye.

19.09.2017

Editing proverbs

There is an old local saying here( in India) that the ancient sacred texts may turn out to be false, but proverbs will always remain true. But, alas, we have entered the brave new 21^st century, where nothing is permanent and anything is ripe for being edited. Proverbs too cannot escape this fate. I have provided brief comments on a few well known proverbs of yesteryears.

A woman's place is in the home

Go and tell it to all those women who have won Oscar awards, to all those who have won countless grand slams in tennis. Yeah, and to all those who have become presidents, prime ministers – and queens.

A gentle whisper – can you actually go and dare tell?

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise

Early to bed? Not for the 21^st century human beings. Try to tell it to those millions of workers who are doing hectic night shifts, all over the world. Their very livelihood depends on not going to the bed early!

Worrying never did anyone any good

No, it does a lot of good to all those consultancy specialists, the headshrinkers and so on. The more you worry, the more they thrive. They are waiting for you with open doors and arms.

Good things come to those who wait

Not anymore. These days they come to those who go and grab. “If you wait, you wait forever,” said the famous CEO of the famous company.

You can't teach an old dog new tricks

Ask Pavlov; he knows better. And those votaries of psychocybernetics. “Give us 21 days. That is all we ask,” they assert modestly. And* all those secret guys doing secret research on behavioural modification in all those hush-hush labs.

Many are called but few are chosen

Ah, excuse me please. Many are called, true, but er only one is chosen. I am sure you know what I mean. Yet…ah, we are talking about all those elections that regularly take place in democratic countries, where they choose only one person – either as a president, or as a prime minister

Patience is a virtue

No, patience is a kinda game. You play it with cards.

One half of the world does not know how the other half lives

No, not in the 21^st century. Everybody knows how everybody lives. Internet and Google and Facebook see to that. Besides, there are umpteen numbers of hackers, more numbers of spies and equal numbers of spy-satellites, and ubiquitous CCTVs, (“Big Brother is watching” was a prophetic statement.), and any number of news media competing with them.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away

An Apple a day makes you a bankrupt very fast. You cannot afford it. The Apple, as you know is called the Rolls Royce of computers. It is costly. Besides, it is guaranteed to be very durable.

*When in Rome, do as the Romans do

When in Rome do as all tourists do.

What has been given above is a small list of suggestions. The readers can spend endless hours inventing modifications to a thousand proverbs.

2.9.2017

(Laugh or smile) – Google hosanna

Do we have to remind you that this is the 21^st century? Decidedly not. The readers are decidedly far smarter than this writer, thereby proving the proposition in the second sentence.

Then why are you still using some old, outdated phrases? Time to revamp our vocabulary and bring in new words. You may taunt/sneer that the writer is ignorant of the fact that dozens of new words are being added daily to the English language. I know, ok? Then why, for god’s sake, are we using these obsolete expressions, I ask.

For god’s sake, yes

Googlescient: We will start with god. One of his attributes, as we used to say is that he is omniscient. Come on, now we have the immeasurable repository of omniscience (and growing every second) right amidst our daily existence. Know who, sorry, what? It is Google, gentlemen (and women) of the jury; it is Google right here in this world, knowing everything, and keeping on knowing more and more every second. You can’t deny that, can you?

Therefore, the word, ‘omniscient’ is out – send it to the Recycle Bin. The current, proper word is, ‘Googlescient’!, friends, Googlescient, we assert. The word is so axiomatic that we automatically assume your full vote for it. And then, you have to grant it that Google (G for god, G for Google) is omnipresent too; again, axiomatically self-evident. So we have to say It is Googlepresent! We had a third attribute to God in the olden days, his omnipotence. We appeal to your common sense. If It (yeah, cross your heart, It, with a capital I) is Googlescient and Googlepresent It has to be Googlepotent. Sing his songs, ye faithful of the 21^st century and be blessed.

For google’s sake: After reading the above paragraph, don’t ever say ‘for god’s sake’ again. You have to say (reverently, obviously), ‘for google’s sake’

God alone knows: You were reading Gogol’s, Dead Souls recently, and noticed that its pages were overflowing with the expression ‘God alone knows’. The book (translated) was in the mid 1800s. So, were the book to be translated now, the logical replacement for that antique phrase would be the up-to-date, modern confession, ‘Google alone knows’! Quite appropriate, you have to agree.

Other concomitant phrases would be: Google forbid, Google be praised, Google in its high heaven. The final phrase, of course, is “By Google’s grace”.

In the olden days, dead souls used to be sent to heaven or hell. Not so anymore. Dead souls are straightaway sent to Google Playstore.Amen.

PS: This, as they say is only the tip of the iceberg. We will be adding to the list now and then – updating, as they say.

26.8.17

No business to be born (smile please)

In mathematics, there is a proposition that an angle cannot be trisected using just a straight-edge and a compasses. It is roughly two thousand years old. People (of all levels of IQ)) were trying to disprove the proposition for two thousand years. Innumerable and extraordinarily ingenious attempts were made to trisect an angle. Hundreds of books were written on the subject. It has been conclusively proved mathematically that a given angle cannot be trisected (divided into three equal parts) using only a straight-edge and a compasses. Ok.

Yet, there are many enthusiasts zealously trying to divide an angle into three equal parts…it is very tempting.

It has also been conclusively proved absolutely and beyond any kind of doubt that our planet earth is spherical (round, globe-like). Yet there be some guys who strongly believe that the earth is flat. (Search the Internet, and you can even become a member of one such club). I just want to join such a club (temporarily!) and argue my case.

I was joking, of course. But not completely. I want to argue (thumb my nose, if you please) against something held equally sacrosanct like the round earth. It is the great Darwin’s theory of Evolution!

Case 1: I am not an expert on the theory of Evolution. But, one general concept is that while evolving, life (being intelligent- italics mine) adapts itself to the environment, as it evolves. That concept actually makes a lot of sense, common and uncommon included. I agree with it completely. So, if you are wondering what my grouse is against the theory of Evolution, jeer is the knocker. If adapting to the environment is true, if it makes supreme sense (leave man, the monkey from this scenario!), then either life is dumb or Evolution is either dumb or false! Still wondering what I am talking about? Come this way and ponder please:-

Actually, my argument is simple, plain and cogent (and irrefutable, if I may say so – modesty be damned!).

One: Life has been in existence from untold millions of years. Irrefutable, ok?

Two: Even prior to life, the universe has been in existence for some 14 billion years, as science avers. Irrefutable, ok?

Three: What is the most ancient, most fundamental, ever-acting, never relenting (24x7) force in nature? It is gravity! Irrefutable, ok?

Four: If ordinary guys like you and me fall down to earth from a height of 40 or 50 feet, we would not be alive to describe that experience. It is the same fate with most life forms. Irrefutable, ok?

SO: Gravity has been acting all these billions of years. Life has been evolving in that environment all these untold millions of years. Then, if Life is intelligent at all, it should have known, learnt that it will extinguish itself if it stays above the ground level of the earth! Irrefutable, ok? There cannot be two opinions on this observation. Life had all these millions of years to learn it. (If you ask Pavlov, he would say a few repetitive experiences are enough. Other psychology buffs would say that just twenty one days are enough.) Then, Life must be extraordinarily dumb not to have learnt in spite of millions of years. Either that or that theory of Evolution must be wrong, what else? Case closed.

If you are still wondering what I am talking about, gentlemen of the jury, I am talking about all those millions and uncountable millions of birds hovering out there in the air all around the earth! Gentlemen of the jury, birds simply have no business to be born at all.

If you believe in gravity. And believe it you must. If you do not, just go to the roof of a skyscraper and look down. (For god’s sake, do not venture farther!)

Postscript: We have more illuminating ideas on gravity and Evolution. Watch out these blog pages.

12.8.2017

Why one only?

There is a way of enjoying everything about Nature and life, which I have discovered of recently, and which I am much eager to share with you. At the very beginning (as they used to say while starting a lecture in the good old days.) I warn you not to take this essay damn seriously, I mean literally. Reading between the lines (as also they are fond of saying) will of much help and entertaining, not to say stress-reducing.

The idea is, to not study science and other related subjects too deeply. Just a passing knowledge is enough for our enterprise.

Now, if you belong to the present generation (the future one is already under conception – pardon the pun – and rearing to go; again pardon the pun) you are apt to be short of patience and want to come to the brass tacks (as they used to say while lecturing in the good old days). Ok, the central idea here is to encourage that Inner Child which resides in you and me and all of us. The Inner Child is always very lively and curious and intent on finding answers to everything under the sun. Finding its own answers, that is the operative phrase, repeat that. Inner Child has an unending capacity for finding – and solving puzzles. Having said that, we will give you just one illustration. Here we go.

The reasoning process of our (and your) Inner Child runs thus. We have all observed that if we put one seed in the ground and nurse it, usually (tongue-in-cheek; damn, always) one plant comes out from the soil, to grow into a tree, bear flowers and fruits etc and so on. Ok? Not ok, wonders our Junior Scientist. Why? you ask. Well, please go back and read the second sentence of the paragraph. “One plant comes out…” declares the declarative sentence. One plant, one one, that is where our Child wants us to focus on. Curiously, preferably, furiously. Why should not two, three or, ideally at least ten plants come out of the womb of the seed, wonders our budding scientist trembling with excitement.

You see, we are all accustomed to thinking that one seed gives birth to one plant. What our man (sorry, boy) suspects is that Nature too has been hypnotized into thinking that it has to conceive one plant only, and has been blindly following the rule all these years. We have only to convince Nature that it is infinitely more fecund; “awaken the sleeping inner giant” many websites promise to do for you. You only have to ask them to do it for Mother Nature. If Mother Nature heeds their encouragement, imagine on what grand scale will there be a real green revolution! If one seed can produce multiple numbers of trees, the whole of the earth will very soon be covered with plants and tree all over. After a brief period of cogitation, our man opines that may be because of such a consequence, mom Nature has wisely decided to conceive in one-to-one ratio only! “One seed, one tree. Thus far and no further.” Amen.

Footnote: There was a sound reason for the Junior Scientist to conjecture that many, many plants could come out of a single seed. To start the long process of growing into a tree, all that the seed needs is to give birth to ONE SINGLE living cell. The rest will take care of itself. One cell divides and becomes two, two will become four and so on; no problem, no worry there. Now, just imagine how many molecules there are in a single cell and compare that with the molecules contained in a seed. The molecules in the seed will outnumber those in the cell by a factor of millions! That is why our brat conjectured that Nature is capable of getting many plants out of a single seed.

Tailpiece to footnote: Science in the 21^st century is progressing at a terrific rate. You and I cannot guess what those boffins in white coats are doing in all those secret labs all over the world. Soon some nerdy geek (or geeky nerd) will discover how to manipulate the DNA of the seed so that he can coax the single seed to proceed and conceive a dozen plants in its solitary womb.

5.6.2017

ADS catches up with Nature

By now every kid worth his myopic glasses knows what ADS is; and the kid does not care. He has no time for such things. Most adults – especially parents and teachers know it as the attention deficit syndrome. (If, for a moment you thought it was AIDS, that there was a typo, you can heave a sigh of relief.) Well, the point is that the syndrome, ADS is widely prevalent (there is a beautiful adjective for such a disease. Is it endemic, epidemic or pandemic? Take your pick and proceed to more interesting or horrifying things that Nature has in store for us. Intrigued? We promise, you will be stonkered. Proceed this way; may be roughly a couple of hundred years, that is all. Or it could be less, we can’t say, what with the way changes are happening at ‘galloping speeds’ as the old phrase would have it.

The gruesome details will appear in my next forthcoming book, and so I will just offer you a very brief appetizer here.

The main theme is like this. You see, Nature created this thing called man to experiment in evolution – and all that bla bla. Ok? But what Nature did not expect was that its own creation, humble man began to disturb Nature’s rhythm. That was nothing compared to the next stage. Man was not only interfering with Nature, but began to dominate her, and then began to influence her!

This scenario is set in the near future, as we pointed out. Nature could no longer contain the enormous stress that humans were inducing in her. Nature began to change her laws! Some of you, nerds may remark that that Nature’s changing her laws is called mutation, and that was not to be much worried about. In fact, mutation accelerates the rate of evolution etc, bla bla.

No, mutation is not what we are talking about, here. Mutation is a very minor, very petty affair compared to what we are going to reveal. Hold on, and hold your breath. Nature became so aggravated that she changed her natural laws drastically. Especially, the human nature of hurry, hurry and more hurry and the unreasonable insistence on quick results raised her gorge.

So hurry, she did. Hurry she did.

In the future era we are privileged to visit now itself (hurry, what else!), human moms began to deliver babies within one month after conception. It was not their fault, though they were in a hurry to deliver and see the pretty faces of their babies.

The babies, the terrible, enfants terrible, were in such a hurry to come out and change the world that they grew up full-blown inside their wombs within a span of one month – which they considered to be a very long time of confinement – and began to press the call-bell-bellybuttons of their respective (oh, respected too) moms.

There were many other ways in which Nature broke her own laws. They are too long to describe in a blog. Our forthcoming book, “Impossible Stories” will soon be in your hands to quench your thirst!

25.04.2017

What is up, seeds?

A little conundrum as a pastime. Who knows what is up? Answer: Ask the seeds, they ought to know better. Still puzzled? Ok, we will present a brief introduction, keep it short and sweet and move on to the next blog waiting down the stack.

My temporary little dilemma rose because of a question I overheard as I passed a group of blithely chatting children.

“What is up?”

“Everybody knows what is up and what is down.”

“Tell me.”

“The sky is up. Like the sun and the stars are there.”

“Baloney. The sky is everywhere, up and down and left and right,” one precocious boy objected. I confess, I was stumped for a moment by that objection. What that lad said was true. Use the word, space, in place of ‘sky’, and you will appreciate what he said. Yet, I was feeling uneasy. I felt instinctively that there must be an up (and so, a down), even if you are floating horizontally or upside-down in outer space!

Apparently there was another precocious boy in the group. (Most probably he was carrying Newtonian genes in his cells.) He pronounced his judgement in sagacious syllables.

“Throw a stone and it goes up. Then it comes down. That is how you get an up and a down.”

That was brilliant, I agreed. The rest of the group cheered. There was a brief hiatus in their chatting. Apparently, again, there seemed to be one more brilliant thinker among those children – a girl with a sweet smile and plenty of curls. She took the conversation to an unexpected level, or area, rather. She asked in true, wonder-filled awe,

“Hey, you guys can afford to throw stones and tell up and down. But how about trees and plants?”

“What do you mean?” Newton-gene asked suspiciously. “Plants have to grow upwards, naturally, because there is nowhere else for them to go!” The children giggled at the bon mot.

The girl was not fazed. She was ready for this. She said breezily, “Plants, of course. Up, of course. Not necessarily, of course. But I have no objection if they grow downwards into the earth. We will discuss that next week, of course. Right now, I was specifically thinking of the seeds.” She paused deliberately, for effect, to see if the others had caught on.

She continued without giving them a chance, “The seeds always grow up, you know. In fact they make the extra effort to break up through the soil in which they are sown. It is actually tough on them, you know, like, ah, breaking the tough layer of the earth. That is why I wonder, how do the seeds know what is up?”

She added what they call the parting shot, “They cannot throw stones to find out where is up, do they?”

The children giggled at the dig at Newton-gene. And then silence descended. They were mulling it over. They slipped into the fairy-land of the children, and were wandering there, wondering, yes, and how do the seeds, ah, yes, how do the seeds know what is up and what is down. Do they have special eyes? On their skin?

At this point I had to enter a different road. I did not know how the conversation ended. I could not know whether the group had solved the problem thrown at them by the girl. Or whether they had made a new discovery in the attempt to solve the puzzle.
As for me, I confess I was unable to solve the problem. How the seeds know in which direction (up) to grow remains a mystery to me. My best guess is that the seeds are somehow able to see, and that they have eyes in the fourth dimension.

8.4.2017

A briefest history of a Creation

(What follows is a highly condensed version of a chapter from my forthcoming fourth book, “Impossible Tales”)

This is a damn serious piece of scientific research. To the best of my knowledge nobody has dared to envisage the scenario I am offering in these erudite pages. So you better be prepared to smile or chuckle with the prescribed pinch of salt ready at hand. An accidental succession of three incidents inspired me to make this (hold your breath for a while only. I am going to burst the news soon) astounding discovery.

1. Recently, during the course of an argument with a friend of mine, á propos the stupendous diversity occurring in nature, I blurted out, “Of course, diversity is what Nature enjoys. Otherwise, it could have created just one atom and be happy with it, and called it a day, saying, ‘Gentlemen, the show is over!’” 2. Same day, some time later I was reading an article about Quantum theory and probability waves in modern physics. 3. I came across the famous poem exhorting us to ‘see a universe in a grain of sand’ almost a few minutes later. That clinched it for me. Inspiration began gushing forth. Here we go.

As per the widely accepted wisdom of the scientific community, our universe has been around here for about 14 billion years. We can designate this as the present Creation, number so and so. Because, you see, Ancient Wisdom affirms that creation and dissolution are cyclical acts. In some of those Ages – kalpas as the Ancient Wisdom called them – the universe was undoubtedly quite different. Besides, the Great Quantum Theory assures us that anything and everything is possible in this world. Millions of things exist in a state of probability (at least, undoubtedly) and the states begin to collapse once somebody observes them! (Yes, that is all highly respectable science, do not worry your pretty head, we are assured.) It is simple from here onward. Just put two and two together, and you will beget my grand scenario. It is undoubtedly grand beyond imagination, we promise you (sic!).

Nature wanted to play out all possible types of creation. (That is why Ancient Wisdom envisaged cycles of creation; you have to appreciate that, really.)

Nature said, darn this universe.

Darn with the galaxies. Darn nebulae. Darn black holes, stars, planets, meteors and asteroids. Darn gravitation, darn electromagnetism, weak forces, strong forces.

Darn solids, liquids and gasses; like they are on earth.

Darn earth too, for that matter! Darn minerals, plants, animals, birds and human beings.

Nature, with a capital N, decided to have some fun. It desisted from creating all the millions of odd things enumerated above.

First there was this immeasurable, vast space as we see now. You are all familiar with its vastness – so many billions of lightyears across, and so on. Ok?

And then, Nature created one single electron, and placed it in the middle of the universe; one and only one electron and nothing else. Once again, you are all familiar with the story of Narcissus, I have to remind you. Nature went into a grand swoon of self-appreciation of what it had created. It hibernated into a Narcissus mode. For 14 billion years. Please, I request you all, imagine the scenario. Allow me to repeat. Nature created one and only one single electron and placed it at the centre of the universe. It created nothing else for fourteen billion years, the entire span of that Creation. You may wonder why Nature did not get bored. If you do wonder, here is the answer.
Nature was busy taking selfies!

2.4.2017

Fable of the Wheel

It has always been like this. Yes. Like this only. That is all.

That is all I want to say. But if you ask me, “What has always been like this?” then, instead of a long boring (scholarly) essay, I will offer you a brief, short story. (Short stories too can be painfully long; hence the qualifier, ‘short’.)

Like in fables, this happened a very long time ago, nobody knows how long…and all that spiel. His name was Hunch. He was a thinker. He was very good at having hunches – apart from the big permanent one on his back. One somnolent day, he saw a coconut fall from the tree he was idly gazing at. Flash fast forward, replace the coconut with apple, and Hunch with Newton. What happened? Sir Isaac had a flash of inspiration and discovered the theory of Gravitation. Now rewind fast and go back instantly to Hunch staring at the falling coconut. The nut hit the sloping ground and started rolling down. What was to happen thousands of years later for a second time, happened first, in and around the person of The Hunch. Hunch was aflame with inspiration. He forestalled the famous Greek, by thousands of years. He threw away the bare bear-skin cloth he was wearing and ran bare shouting an equivalent of “eureka!” He gad discovered the concept of the wheel.

As we said in the beginning, it has always been like this. Hunch was only a thinker. His idea of the wheel was revolutionary (pun, unintended, but quite apt), but still it was only an idea. Hunch needed a technical wizard to bring his concept into life. So, he went to Technerd, (or Techie) his friend. Techie was both a nerd and a geek. When Hunch (still bare, sans his bearskin) excitedly explained his concept of The Wheel, in short, quick, belaboured breaths, Techie understood everything and congratulated Hunch on the greatest hunch of all time.

“You leave it to me,” he said to Hunch. Within one week, Techie managed to manufacture four beautiful wooden wheels, coupling a set of two wheels each with more beautiful shafts. It was a brilliant technical innovation fit to be called the greatest technical breakthrough of all time. There were no Nobel Prize and Guinness Book of Records in those days, true, but the dropped jaws, wide eyes and excited jabbering of all those who saw the brainchild conceived by Hunch (physically delivered by Techie) were far greater tributes.

Human civilization had taken an immense giant leap, because of the two persons. This is how mankind progresses.

Right?

No, wrong. No sirs, this not how progress is made. Hunch and Techie were (and their modern day equivalents are) great guys, no doubt there. But civilization and progress; that is a different ballgame.

Puzzled? Worried? Not to worry. The puzzle is a no-brainer, really. You forgot the most important person, eh? He has been in action since humans occupied earth; he is the person responsible for all progress…Fast rewind back again to Hunch and Tech and witness for yourself this marvellous guy at work.

Hunch and Tech were gloating over their great idea. They were utterly happy and were primed to spend the rest of their lives in contentment. In course of time, Tech chipped out half a dozen more wheels to test his skill. And that was that. And that would have been probably that forever. (Except, may be, a primitive bard would have invented a new word for the wheel, composed a song over it and the caveman would have done a mural on the marvel he had witnessed.)

One day, a guy from a nearby place happened to visit Hunch and Techie. Also, he happened to witness the wheel invented by Techie. In our story of the wheel we said that Hunch and Tech were inspired. Great. But the new visitor had something far greater. He had vision. And his vision was baldest possibly practical. And the vision encompassed immense sweep.

You will appreciate what we said if you know the new man on the scene. His name was Bizzman the Entrepreneur.

Bizz wasted no time, no words. He cozened Hunch&tech into selling him the rights of the Wheel for the price of two coconuts. He talked so glibly that he convinced them that he was doing them a great favour by purchasing the rights of the Wheel!

The rest, as the stale but expressive phrase says, is history. Bizz got bizzy (sorry, busy) ushering in the industrial revolution. Mankind had never seen anything like that in its thousands of years of existence. Bizz produced wheels, wheels, all sorts of wheels and more wheels. Carts, vehicles, pulleys, gadgets, gears…innumerable new artifacts and machines were born in rapid succession.

Bizzman expanded and extended. He expanded his business by introducing more and more varieties of products. He convinced people that they needed to buy his products to make their lives easy and comfortable. He had expert admen under him; admen capable of convincing anybody of anything (even the devil). He extended his domains; he opened up branches and subsidies all over the world…

Soon there were more and more bizzmen in the world. Business, commerce had spread to every conceivable nook and corner of the world.

Civilization flourished. Like how!

Now it is time to close the brief history with the customary moral.

Moral: Hunch-men and Techies come and go. Nay, even kings, Caesars, emperors, presidents and prime ministers come and go. But Bizzmen stay. Bizzmen rule.

It has been always like this.

22.3.2017

ROOTS

I wrote about the trees which were cut down (1.2.2017). The images of those trees are still haunting me; so it is natural that other ideas were simmering in my mind. Allow me to recollect the incident briefly before taking up the intriguing question that has been gnawing at my mind. The incident: some guys cut down half a dozen old, full grown trees by their trunks at ground level. To a city-born city-dwelling person like me, that certainly looked like the end of the trees. Therefore it was a miracle to me when fresh sprouts shot up from the sides of the stumps within a span of one month! (And there were no rains either during that period, and the ground was dry.) Please allow me to say again that the cut down tree stumps were projecting barely a few inches from the soil. In the context of that miraculous scene I exclaimed that the simplest things were the toughest. That was then. Later on, another strange question began to haunt me.

Think of me as a child of six; I am not abashed. I am not a biology expert either; I am not ashamed. But I have to ask this question, “Where does the life of the tree exist?” I mean its location.

All these days I thought that the tree had a life of its own. Let me add a caveat to that. By tree and its life, I had a subconscious idea that the tree was that entity which was visible (and lived) above the ground level. The roots were to me, only the instruments using which the tree (that magnificent thing standing proud and erect above ground proudly displaying its beauty and grandeur through its branches, leaves, flowers and fruits). It used the roots to suck in (and up) the nutrients from the surrounding soil – remember osmosis?

But now, suddenly everything became Topsy-turvy (excuse the unintended, but nevertheless apt pun) in one fell swoop. (the pun again!) The tree, the whole of it as I knew was cut down. But fresh shoots came up again! So, where was life lurking till then? Obviously, dear Watson, in the roots – below the ground, dear Watson. I must admit, Watson is stunned. He is that simple, innocent child lurking inside you and me.

Watson admires his friend no end. But, after a century of years he has grown independent and adamant. He cogitates while his famous companion sends perfect smoke rings in the air, obviously gloating on his latest deduction. His agitated cogitation runs thus:- If life lurks in the roots, I mean, if roots are the primary (and sole) holders of life, well, well…what is the necessity of the tree at all? I mean, ah, all those beautiful branches, foliage, flowers and fruits and all? I will put it more bluntly. The roots (and all their clan) can pretty well stay inside the earth for ever. They never need to raise their heads above the ground at all! My objection is quite logical, I insist.

Are you telling me, dear dick (The pipe-smoker winces in pain. The chain of perfect rings is broken. He had not winced like this even when he had used the term, ‘stunt’ more than a hundred years ago.) that life, especially plant life, needs to grow and proliferate?

I have no objection to that, dear deducer. Let the roots grow, grow, and grow, proliferate to their hearts’ content inside the earth. What I am saying is very logical.

Yes, my dear Watson, your argument is brilliant and simple. In fact, it is so brilliant that its brilliance has blinded you. Roots, dear Watson, do spread below ground, deep deeper and deeper, wide, wider and wider. Nature has been doing it all these millions of years, you know?

Ouch! You are in too much of a hurry to win the argument, it seems. I am perfectly aware that roots proliferate and spread deep into the soil. I like it. In fact, that is what prompted me to make my monumental declaration. Roots – by your own admission – have been doing pretty well inside the earth from time immemorial. (I endorse that activity.)Then, they have no business to peek or poke their heads above the ground at all! It is against logic, dear H.
If your inner child’s deductive powers are as sharp as that man from Baker’s Street, and if you are, likewise as honest in an argument (and open to new ideas), then you must agree that there need be only roots and no trees at all. At that moment when that realisation flashes inside you, your jaw should drop as widely as possible and the pipe should slip down from your fingers, and crash to the ground. Amen.

1.2.2017

Simplest is toughest

An event that occurred recently has convinced me that “simplest is toughest,” I have put that in quotes, simply because I actually heard those words inside my head when I witnessed the scene of the incident, when I had that eponymous revelation! No, I am not a prophet, but even a bourgeois like me has the privilege to be struck by revelations once in a while. (You will agree with that if you too are a bourgeois; it is a nice-sounding word, after all.)

Well, on to the event. There was somebody’s backyard here, where some tall lush trees had grown. The trees could be around eighty years old by my reckoning. One fine (no, not fine) day some guys came down with axes, machetes and sawing machines and mowed down all the trees and plants in the area. The trunks of the trees were cut down – sawn through clean – almost at the ground level.

After the gang went away, all I saw was five to six bare tree trunks projecting half a foot above the ground, their plain sawn off tops looking like forlorn shaved heads. It was a pitiful sight indeed.

By chance, I happened to visit the site again two weeks later. What I saw stunned me and lit up my heart in quick succession. The ‘dead’ trees – each of them, of a different genus – had come back to life! I do not know how the science-educated men (the botanists?) look at it, but it was sheer miracle as far as I was concerned. Pardon me for repeating: the trees were tall and old. They were totally cut down (sawn off) by their trunks, at ground level. I was witness to the actual process of their destruction/murder. I was subconsciously sure that the trees would grow back again. Yet, wonder, wonder, the trees had come back to life! Fresh, green tender offshoots had sprouted from the sides of the cut off trunks. They were old trees, as I said and the trunks were thick; the bark too was thick. The fresh tender sprouts had somehow found ‘chinks’ in the thick bark! That was a second miracle to my eyes. The flat bald top surfaces of the trunks were probably not conducive to life, it seems. The tree or the offshoots had somehow sensed it and they had chosen to break through the bark on the sides.

Within a span of one month the shoots had grown two feet long. By the third month they were flourishing – never bothering to look back at the past, at the enormous trauma that had been inflicted on them!

That was when it struck me with force. The trees were tougher than us, human beings, simply in terms of survival. At the risk of being facetious, I ask you, “Would a human being ever come back to life if it were cut down at the trunk, the way the trees were?” Ok, leave it; just consider one single blow from an axe. Excuse me, I am not being sadistic. I mean, just look at the unimaginable amount of raw ravage that the trees/plant-life can withstand.

It looks like the simpler life forms like trees and plants (etc) are tougher than the complicated life forms like human beings (etc).

If it is so (it very much looks so), then, why did complex forms like humans and animals etc evolve?

Answer: (Do an LOL, and visualize a suitable emoji here) Search me! (Asides) – I did not vote for the evolution theory. If you are not satisfied, ask the boffins. (Asides again) – But don’t tell me what they tell you; I am happy with my discovery of miracles.

24.1.2017

Devil’s fear

Intrigued? No, it is not the fear we have towards the devil. We are talking here of something which the Devil is afraid of! (See, we have even picked up the courage to end a sentence with a preposition.) – (We can as well capitalise the word since we are not afraid of him when we wear this talisman which we are going to reveal as quickly as possible. Yes, we are going to keep this very short.)

As you all know, the Devil is very fond of all human activities throughout recorded history. He is especially fond of our mental activities, in which field there is immense scope for him to lead us astray. Let us leave it to the theologists and professional philosophers to orate on this aspect (while that guy with horns and tail would be giggling merrily). Please tarry, we are almost there.

Back before two thousand years, when the great Greek philosophers were indulging in fantastic flights of thinking, our guy (D, for Devil) was not bothered. He knew that he could easily lead astray humans who think; especially who adore that activity. But, alas, the seeds of defeat and destruction are often sown unawares or, much innocuously. This aphorism applies not only to human beings but also to the Devil. The Greeks produced beautiful, profound works of mathematics. Satan was indifferent to it. That was the moment when the seeds of his defeat were sown.

Some time later (centuries), mathematics gave birth to a new thing called calculus. Only those who have a talent for maths can appreciate the wonder that is calculus. A devotee of mathematics, in his frenzy of ecstasy may even proclaim that the creation of calculus was equivalent to god’s act of creation. Soon, calculus began to thrive like a colony of replicating bacteria. Soon enough (and sure enough), the Devil was concerned. Lines of worry began to form on his vaunted (high) brow. Till now he was able to follow any kind of human thinking easily. But now he was having a tough time trying to follow the intricate twists of logic in mathematics. But, alas, before he knew what was what, mathematics grew into a mammoth tree of innumerable branches. The Devil was unable to perch on many of those strange branches. In his palpitating heart, concern began to give way to incipient panic. The irony was that the human beings called mathematicians were unaware of the effect their studies were having on da Devil.

A small example. Till then humans were in the habit of thinking of our world as made up in three dimensions. Dev’l smugly hid himself in the fourth dimension making it his fort-cum-capital. Alas, very soon, some guy whose name starts with ‘E’ came along and confiscated the fourth dimension from the devil and firmly attached that dimension to our mundane world! Devil, then, ran away to the next, fifth dimension. But he was not happy there. When the fourth dimension arrived, can the fifth be far behind – as the poet said? The fifth paved way for the sixth and so on. Yeah, some guys called the String People demanded eleven dimensions and got it; they milked it from mother mathematics. Satan was fleeing in sheer fright, from one dimension to next dimension.

There were many more things of course. Till then master Devil was always sure of himself. In other words, he was certain of everything. But then, this another guy propounded the profound uncertainty theorem which rattled the stout hearts of many brave scientists themselves. Erstwhile cocksure Devil was shivering with suspense. And then, some one else – in the name of el god? – came in and delivered a knockout punch to Devil’s s’lar plexus with what became known as The Incompleteness Theorem. Devil could truly never recover from that blow. (Devil was convinced that he too was incomplete.) Oh, there were other things too. All these days el Devil thought he knew everything inside out. Then these satanic wizards (what an irony, he had to use his own epithet on them) constructed strange shapes that had neither inside nor outside, the inside going into the outside and the outside merging with the inside. They (the math guys) invented things that do not exist in nature or the universe, like the square root of minus one. (There cannot be a square root for a negative number because minus multiplied by minus is always plus only!) Yet, those guys (insane!) created a symbol for such an imaginary number and, to add insult to injury, created fantastic equations – equations indispensable for technology, for civilisation, for man’s survival.

Till then monsieur Devil was clear in his mind that there was one such thing as infinity, that it was so huge that there could only be one infinity. (Naturally, because infinity was bigger than anything you can say or write or think.) Maths delivered the coup de grace on poor monsieur. Those mad, mad, mad people contemplated many infinities, not one, mon dieu! (“Oh, what a blasphemy am I uttering,” cringed the devil.)

That was the end as far was the Devil is concerned. He vowed never to enter any place on earth (or heaven) where mathematics was being contemplated.

Amen.

18.1.2017

Astrology is scientific!

Yes, astrology is “scientific”. We can show it through what may be called tongue-in-cheek-logic. It is a kind of smooth logic – the kind of logic deployed by smooth operators. Nevertheless, it is fun and seemingly plausible. We only have to convince ourselves first. You can convince others when you know you are convinced. So…here we go. The idea is very exciting indeed. Just follow some of the examples below, and that will be enough; we need not adduce any more ‘logical’ arguments.

The core concept is that individual entities (of many kinds – we may even daresay, all kinds) possessing distinct characteristics display quite other different characteristics when they grouped. We repeat, ‘grouped’ in order to draw your attention. They may be grouped in various kinds of formation, or combination etc. Each different formation exhibits a different, unique property as a group, even though the individual constituents still exist as units within the group. That is all, that is the wonder and beauty of nature; it is as simple as that. Just a couple of example will suffice to bring home what we are propounding.

Take a straight line. Go and have a look at a thousand straight lines dispersed widely all over the world. They are all ‘straight lines’ and exhibit the property of a straight line. Now, group together just two such lines in various formations. Wonder, wonder! You get an arrow tip, a plus sign, the ‘equals’ sign, a right angle, the multiplication symbol, the letter ‘T’, and so on! This analogy holds good even if you look at it from the physical (material) angle. Two sticks, when combined in different formations as listed above, behave differently. For example, when thrown in the air, the ‘spin’, the distances travelled, the trajectories will vary! Even the sound vibration patterns when those objects are struck will be different…

Take a single atom of hydrogen. Take another single atom of oxygen. In their isolated states, hydrogen is hydrogen and oxygen is oxygen. Now, take two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom, and group them together. (Don’t worry, nature does it for you in immeasurable abundance.) As a group, the combination exhibits quite a different property, and behaves likewise. It is your water! Hydrogen is a gas, oxygen is a gas; their combination, water is a liquid!

Take hydrogen, carbon and nitrogen (H, C, N). Individually, each of the elements is good for your body. Each element exists in plentiful quantities in your body. Combine the three into a knit group; you get hydrogen cyanide, which is a deadly poison! The wonder is that all the three elements still exist in that deadly poison! The way they bond together makes all the difference!

The same thing happens at still more fundamental level. Electrons are electrons by themselves. Protons are protons by themselves. Neutrons are neutrons by themselves. But if they group together in various proportions, they begin to behave like different types of matter: carbon, chlorine, gold, silver and so on and so on. In fact all matter that is on earth (and the universe) consists of nothing more exotic than the above plain particles – electrons, protons and neutrons. That is an unimaginable simplicity. Yet, there is an equally unimaginable complexity in all the matter(stuff) of the world: the physical properties like shape, weight, structure, the reactions to sensory input like vision, touch, sound, smell, taste etc…the variety and complexity is truly mind-boggling.

Excuse us for repeating. Yet, all this humongous variety and complexity is nothing but the outcome of various combinations of the three fundamental particles. Repeat, repeat, repeat that. Permutations and combinations of positions. Configurations, is the operating word, see?

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that. That is all we need to point out to shrewd minds like you. The rest follows automatically, axiomatically. When positions, placements, combinations are running the infinite activities of the universe itself, it is but natural that planetary positions and combinations run/affect/influence our lives! In fact they influence not only ours, but also those of all life forms as well. And much more, including inanimate stuff too – remember the tides, the arctic lights, solar flares, the days and nights. In fact, everything existing and imaginable! “QED”, as the good old venerable Euclid would have said.

9-1-2017

Ban it, ban it

The man was just an ordinary man like you and me. Suddenly, a miracle occurred; the man was bestowed with miraculous powers. You and I call them miracles. But the scholarly gents are afraid of that word. So they prefer to say, “Paranormal phenomena” but that is irrelevant to our brief story here.

There be many powers miraculous. Our man could produce (create) materials out of thin air. Such powers cannot lie concealed for long. The news broke out. People started visiting our man; some out of curiosity and some with a desire to prove him wrong. The former kind were mightily satisfied, the latter. Mightily frustrated, for the miracles were genuine.

Soon, more and more people from everywhere began visiting the chap and his reputation spread widely. We called our man, the chap, because he was a very simple man, uncomplicated and without any sort of ambition or arrogance or greed or any such kind of attributes. People continued to flock around him and he continued to produce materials out of thin air and give them away freely to every one around him. Everybody was happy. Everything was going on smoothly. But you know, nothing is permanent in this world; especially in a thriving (booming) democracy. (By, thriving, we mean democracy, not its people.) You know, in a democracy there are lots of do-gooders, from whom you cannot escape. They come in all shapes and sizes and are active in all spheres. Once their gaze falls on you, you are gone, you are doomed. I am sure you know this better, but for the sake of formality we will say a few words and proceed with our story.

Remember those good old days when you could smoke a cigarette freely in the streets or anywhere, without feeling guilty? Can you do it now? If a dog attacks you in the street and you hit it back (or even defend yourself) you are cooked if a member of some animal-loving society espies you; or even if some guy posts a photo of you confronting the dog, in FB or Twitter pages. Some twenty years back, I could freely roam in the roads in this city where I stay, during the late hours of night. Not so anymore. The first cop who sees you will lock you up. Things are banned, you see. All for your own good you see…I am sure you have caught the drift of whither we are heading…

Ban! Things get banned, yes, even in democracy. (Probably more) Things – the good, the bad and the ugly – get banned regularly.

And now to the anticlimax of our brief story. We said, our miracle man was genuine. His miracles were genuine. Neither the scientists, nor the rationalists, nor the professional stage magicians were able to find any sort of ‘tricks’ in what our man did. That was the problem. They could not digest it. So they found ways to get the miracle act banned. This was democracy, you see? You have got laws; innumerable, all kinds. You have got courts. You have got lawyers. (You only need to have enough money in your pockets.) Anybody can file a case against anybody. Public Litigation Act, some such things are there.

So, the villains took the easy, safe legal course. Sorry, I don’t want to call them villains, actually, but a story should have a villain, you see. They were very tricky indeed. They got hold of the do-gooders. All the laws, all bans are for your own good, see? The do-gooders were thoroughly smooth in their operation. They filed a petition in the highest court of the land. Their arguments ran into hundreds of obscurely erudite pages. Sample argument: the miracle man is slyly encouraging people to stop thinking rationally, logically. People become lazy, gradually – the practice of making effort for anything, will gradually fade away in their lives. It is dangerous for the society. In the end, technology itself may lose its charm; that will be the end of civilization…and so on, and so many unmentionable things in between. The do-gooders won! The honourable judges declared a ban on the miracle man’s miracle

He must not perform miracles. The end! Long live bans!

29.12.2016

The theft of mobile phone (a mystical experience)

I lost my mobile phone some time back. Presumably, somebody stole my phone, I guess. I say ‘presumably’, because I am not sure if I have not misplaced it. This theft/loss of the phone has been a most traumatic, or mystical experience to me. Please tarry and read on with empathy; you will follow what I am attempting to describe. It is almost impossible (for me) to put into words exactly what happened – either to me or to the phone. I will try my best. Here we go.

Time span: From 11am to 11.03 am, roughly.

The incident took place at, say, spot S, where I had placed my mobile phone…Damn, something went wrong from here on. My mind must have taken a free tumble in empty space, or the enth dimension, or inside of time itself. I do not even remember where exactly I kept my phone.

The fabric of space-time itself got warped at this juncture. I am not referring to the space-time of physics; my psychological sense of time and space got busted. The memory of that brief period after 11 am is very vague; only patches of images remain. In one such image, I saw myself juggling with some data on the cellphone. (Saw, seen, see, seeing, was seen, shown…anything can apply in this context. The texture of the experience of my existence was in such an undefinable state.)

Total blank for a few seconds after that. I simply do not remember what I did after that and where exactly I kept the phone…hiatus…the boy must have been walking – most probably. Because, in the next snapshot, the boy (I) remembers walking away from spot S. Funny thing is that the experience of walking away from the spot felt like a vague memory at that time – not now! I was walking away from the spot. Not sure; may be some kind of holographic image of me was moving; not sure too. The brain was thinking that the area where the body was moving was inauspicious. There seemed to be bad vibrations there. The body/the holographic image was being prodded by a strange force to move, like a zombie, in a zigzag manner. It kept on moving at random (always away from the original spot S).And all the while there was a terrible premonition that something bad was going to happen. The mind was talking to itself, “No, you should not be here. This is not the place to keep the phone. No, no, one should not even be carrying the phone in this spot. The spot is dangerous. Bad, bad, bad. You fool, if you place your phone here, you are going to lose it. Dead cert. This is not the place where one carries a phone!” Etc, etc. Some another part of the mind was reminding the present part, “Don’t you remember that you have already lost the phone once, being in this place? Go back, go back!” Oh boy, I was feeling terrible. A sense of incipient danger was pervading the air around me.

In another image, I had veered off at a different direction (still away from spot S). Again the same scenario of anxiety was playing out in my mind. “Danger, danger. You should not be in this spot. Go back. This is not the spot to be carrying the phone with you. If you place the phone here, it will be gone for good. Don’t you remember the lesson from the past? Don’t you remember?”

The same act kept on repeating another three or four times, I guess: I am at a different spot, I am holding the phone as if about to keep it down, the voice reminds me that I should not keep the phone there. Go back, go back, it warns. The air is thick with suggestions of danger and unpleasantness. I am not sure whether I am living in the past, present or future. In fact I am not even sure where exactly I am.

The whole process may have taken about two to three minutes to roll out; I was not aware of it at that time.

I only remember having returned to the original spot, S, where I had placed the phone. (Note: I am deducing now only that I must have placed the phone there. In all those shadowy, duplicate, virtual memories I was carrying the phone! Then where did I keep the phone if I was carrying it? God knows!)

There was a hot lump in my chest even before I surveyed the area. A distant voice in my mind was booming that the phone was gone, the phone was gone, the phone was gone.

I slowly descended back to the sense of everyday reality. There was no phone where I expected it to be – where – it should have been. I searched the whole area. The act was just a formality, for I knew in my bones that the phone had vanished.

I never got it back.

Oh, I forgot to tell you that the ‘area’ is my own house. Additional bald facts: the front door was open to the street. There were many people in the street. Anybody could have easily entered the house thro’ the open door, yeah, I was alone in the house. Repeat, all those are sterile, bald facts. Most probably some guy from the street would have entered thro’ the open door and knocked off the phone. It just takes less than a minute to do so, and I was away from that spot for two to three minutes, in my reckoning. But, I am not sure that that was what happened that day. I was walking like a somnambulist in the fourth dimension and I must have dropped the phone into the fifth dimension! This may sound like cheap sci-fi to the reader, but my strange experience during those fateful minutes defies verbal descriptions. Most probably, the episode of my internal dialogues and zigzag sleepwalking was a kind of premonition that my phone was about to be stolen.

To sum up, the above incident was a kind of whirlpool in the smooth-running waters of my normal life. Or, more fancifully, it was an unfathomable black hole in the serene space of my mind.

I am also certain that many of my readers would have had similar or more interesting experiences of this type.

16.12.2016

Criteria for existence.....Laugh it off

What is the criterion for the existence of anything? I mean, how do you ratify that something exists? (That word, ‘ratify’ sounds very official, no?)

The answer is simple. May be, in the yesteryears of serious-thinking, philosophers with venerable beards, the subject was complex; perhaps too complex to resolve conclusively. Not so, these days. Now, there is somebody who can answer all your questions…

I am sure you have caught on. That great guy who can answer any question has a name, naturally; everybody on earth (most probably, aliens too) knows HIS name. No, no, dear, I am not referring to that him that you are thinking.

HIS name is Mister Google! (Ha, ha, ha).

From here, the answer to our question at the beginning is obviously self-evident. So, let us state it as a theorem, or axiom – if something is not found in Googlesearch then, obviously, it does not exist. QED, as the good old Euclid used to say.
(PS – Even god cannot be exempted from this theorem.Also search/ref, googlescient.)

17/12

Further insights:-

Quiz – What is God’s preferred medium of communication with us?
Ans – God wishes to communicate with us in many ways, but the Digital Media does not offer him choices. God has to use the following methods only – SMS, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, Messenger. He may also use Gmail, where ,G, stands for God.(amen)

11.12.2016

Talk, anyway

This is actually a very serious subject matter, worth the consideration of old time philosophers like Bergson, Kierkegaard, Sartre etc. Unfortunately I am not erudite and incapable of writing seriously on any topic. So let us keep this short and sweet.

I have a friend, in this city, who is totally on a different wavelength. In fact, he and I live in different planets. (Though we share the resources of the same planet earth.)

I am especially talking (yes, talking) about the act of dialogue. Oh, forget serious words like, dialogue, take ‘talk’ instead. I talk to my above-mentioned friend, A, on a simple topic, say Z1. He talks back as if he is on another topic Z2! I try my best to tune in and answer along what I think is his Z2. Now his rejoinder will be along the route of Z3! Within a space of a few minutes we will be shuttling back between Z, 50 and 51. That is as far as simple topics are concerned. I leave it to you to imagine the mayhem when serious matters are taken for discussing.

There is more. Apart from my friend, A, I have three more friends who exhibit the same conversational behavior. It gets interesting here. When I mentioned the above oddity to some another friend of mine, he said that he too had five friends who had the same genes we are talking about. Now it does not get interesting any more. When that second friend mentions this (cross-talk) phenomenon to some another third person, that person too…You realize that this phenomenon is quite ubiquitous.

We are all cross talking most of the time.

At this stage, a most cynical thought arises naturally. If we are talking at cross purposes – well, most of the time – then, why talk at all? We can all as well shut up and sit silently apart, and go on glaring/scowling/beaming/frowning at one another.

I actually visualized such a scenario, with all the intense seriousness of a budding philosopher. After some time, it looked much hilarious. I laughed. And then, it hit me like a sandbag.

It is not what we talk that is important. It is simply the act of talking – the verbal exchange – that matters! There is some mysterious exchange of forces (apart from the exchange of words) that goes on in the background, unnoticed. If I am permitted to draw a parallel, the phenomenon resembles the exchange of forces in the subatomic field where two particles stay attracted towards each other. Likewise, a mysterious force keeps us attracted to one another while we carry on a conversation, irrespective of the actual words that are exchanged.

I take my bow here and exit; I surrender the stage to all the scholars out there.

7.11.2015

Baby magic

Evening. I was sitting at my usual table at the hotel. One table away from mine, a man was sitting along with his child. It was a baby in fact; about 2 years. The baby was charming, with a bewitching smile glowing on its tender face. I was unable to take my eyes off the baby.

Presently, a man who was also in the hotel went up to the baby. He played with the baby briefly, blew kisses at it and went away. I was empathizing with him all the way. There was a sense of goodness in the atmosphere. A sense of joy filled me. At that instant, I liked that guy immensely.

And then, it struck me forcefully, like a physical blow. That person was a familiar figure; I had seen him many times around the area. All these days, as I had observed him, there was nothing pleasant about that person. He was a grouse. He used to pick up quarrels with others. His manners and language were far from being civilized. Though I did not have a personal contact with him, I carried a negative image of him all these days. Matter of fact, I disliked him.

But that one instant of his exchange with the baby had taken me unawares. I had liked the man spontaneously! I felt guilty for the negative images of him that I had been nursing all these days.

I started loving him. That is baby magic for you!

29.09.15 Mysterious connections – again

1.This happens to me regularly. I will be looking up for the meaning of for a word over the Internet; I usually note down the word. (Say, it is night over here.)

The next morning, when I go to solve my usual crossword puzzle in the newspaper, I am dumbstruck. The blessed word which I had looked up, will be there right among the crossword puzzles! This incident happens almost once in ten or fifteen days. Isn’t it eerie?

2. A premonition

One late evening, while walking along the street, my attention was drawn towards a certain lady X, working in a certain shop. I have seen that lady quite a number of times. Her face resembled that of another lady Y, a very good friend of mine. I had wondered about it many times.

Now, on that day, some strange impulse drove me into the shop. As if I was in a sleep-walking state, I walked up to her and asked her politely, if she was in any way related, family-wise to that friend of mine, lady Y. The good woman politely laughed it off and said that she did not know my friend Y at all. I normally do not talk with strangers. As I walked out of the shop wondering what drove me inside that shop I was more than a bit surprised by my own behaviour.

Later that night (almost within a two hours), my behaviour explained itself as a revelation. I received a phone call that my friend, lady Y had died! On the same day, roughly about a few hours before I had questioned lady X.

Life abounds with strange interconnections.

22-09-15
Clinically clean

This is going to be a tad satirical, but I must write about it.

I wanted to purchase some sweets to celebrate the Festival. I went to the nearest bakery. It was a famous one (with many branches in India, etc.) As I stood near the entrance, the first thing that caught my attention was the cleanliness of the place. It was spotlessly clean. The tiled floor, the walls, the glass cases, everything was clean, neat, shining. The place was designed to attract the super-clean-conscious people of society. Am I overdoing it? Then it hit me.

It hit me, a strong, overpowering smell (‘stench’, in my dictionary) of the disinfectant they had liberally employed to clean the floor, the table tops and so on. It was really unbearable. (“But it was clean, it made everything clean, you understand?”)

Then it hit me again. A second wave of nostalgia. In the good ole days, whenever I used to approach a bakery, the pleasant smell of bread would welcome me. In fact, one could detect the sweet smell even from a good twenty feet away from the bakeries. The taste buds would tingle in anticipation.

But things have changed now. Everybody, (especially the upper middle class and those above that) is mortally afraid of bacteria. The TV and newspaper ads have done a perfect job on them. They frighten you with numbers; millions of millions of microbes, bacteria are all around you eagerly waiting to invade you and finish you off, you see. Sterilize, sterilize everything around you; the air, the floor, the eating tables, the furniture and so on and so on. Don’t give the microbes a chance.

That is why you see disinfectants everywhere, bakeries and hotels being no exception. They even ‘clean’ the tabletops at restaurants with liquid disinfectant sprays.

I only make the next logical suggestion; why do not those clean-conscious people spray the food also with disinfectants – perhaps with a milder version? I am not being sarcastic; I am carrying logic to the next step. After all, when you are inside that bakery, you are inhaling the disinfectant molecules by the billions. I wonder if anybody has done research what damage those molecules of chemicals (Dettol, Lysol, bleaching powder, phenol etc etc) do to the human body.

After such cogitations, I lost all interest in entering the bakery. I went searching the streets hoping to find at least one bakery that did not use disinfectants.

I am still doing the rounds.

PS. And those people who eat out of disinfectant-laden tables do not hesitate to make it a point to talk of organic foods, mindless of the billions of sterilizing chemicals teeming around them – and entering their bodies – as gaseous molecules!

The medicine man

Sometimes it is very difficult to understand the attitudes of people. Take the instance of a friend of mine. Like all of us, he too gets unwell now and then. (Who doesn't?) We usually rush to the doctor at the earliest onset of symptoms. But not so, our friend. He patiently suffers through the sickness (mild or acute) until he gets well again. I have been watching him for the past 15 years, and I have not seen him go to a doctor! Answer to your unspoken question - yes, he does fall sick now and then. But he refuses to consult a doctor; not that he cannot afford the fees (exorbitant, as is the case everywhere now-a-days). He simply chooses to endure the discomfort/pain caused by the illness.

Not being able to curb my curiosity, I asked him about his rituals of penance. His reply was startling, at least to me. He (my friend) claims that if one goes to the doctor for treatment, it becomes a habit! More than that, he says that such a behaviour unconsciously develops into an addiction! If, addiction, is a strong word, he smiles and asks me to replace it with, “dependence”.

Initially I was taken aback by his explanation. But I often feel that there is something in what he says.

14.1.15

Thumbing nose – act2

This is both a hilarious and desperate situation. Science started around 3000 years back, at the period of the Greek thinkers. There were only a few, individuals who researched in science in those days. The situation continued up to the days of Newton. Thereafter science picked up pace. In the present times the amount of scientific research being carried worldwide is mindboggling. Thousands and thousands of scientists are carrying out furious research round the clock.

Yet, we do not have what can be called, THE FINAL ANSWER.

Isn’t it ironic? Does it carry a message?

13.1.15 Thumbing the nose at Sciemce - act1

A JOKE about science touching its TOE.

Thumbing my nose at science has been my irresistible addiction. So here we go. You know, science has been diligently searching for its toe? That is, TOE – the theory of everything. TOE is supposed to include everything we know, in its explanation. Of course, they have not yet succeeded in the effort. You know why? Take the other, the toe. One cannot see (let alone touch) one’s toe if one’s belly is bloated, if one is blessed (sic?) with an enormous tummy. Ok? It is the same case with science. The belly of science is bloated to unimaginable proportions – by all that humongous amount of knowledge it has been accumulating unceasingly. Ergo, how can science see – let alone touch – its toe (TOE)? Smile, (along with the emoticon).

12.8.2014

Life is indefinable. You cannot make a universal statement on it. The moment you make such a statement, somebody will show a hundred exceptions.

13.9.2014

Any statement can be argued both ways. And, endlessly. If you do not believe me, open a topic in your blog and invite comments from your readers. Even many (or at least quite a few) scientific statements are no exception to this rule!

3.9.14

Why on earth?

Why on earth there are only 117 elements? This is a humorous article, so give or take a few more. This article can also be taken as the despairing laments of the man-in-the-street who is interested in science, but unfortunately is incapable of going deeper into it. Way back in our school days, we had a teacher on physics. During his lecture, whenever some poor student raised a doubt, the teacher (of gigantic size, physically) would roar, “Shut up and accept what I tell you.” Looks like I am in that same position even now, as far as modern science is concerned!

The Big Bang Theory (I call it the wise, all-powerful godfather of Science) purportedly, is supposed to tell you how the elements were formed. The universe we see now is so huge that it is impossible to conceive it mentally. They say that the universe is 14 billion years old. (SUAAWITY.) All that was, they say concentrated, that is compressed into, a tiny pin head sized mass 14 billion years ago. (SUAAWITY.) There was an immense explosion, and that imponderably dense thing expanded; it kept on expanding, is doing so now also. (SUAAWITY.) That original super duper explosion is called ‘the big bang’. A brief time after the expansion, out of the thing that expanded, (pure energy?) fundamental particles like quarks, electrons, neutrons grew. Don’t ask me how. (SUAAWITY.) Out of that soup, (or plasma, if you want a more technical name) the first elements like, hydrogen and helium were formed. Slowly, slowly (slow, repeated, to tell you how slow it was – like the way Chinese words repeat to stress a point) gravity showed its hand and out of the clouds of hydrogen huge clumps began to “snowball’. Those snowballs are called stars. Gravity showed its hand again, and the stars began to emit light; you know, stars burn bright, apart from twinkling at one another. The temperatures were quite hot, far hotter than the worst kind of hell imaginable. So, in that heat, fusion took place. That is, hydrogen atoms combined together to produce helium. May be, some more fusion took place and a few other elements were ‘fused’ together. There are countless number of stars in the universe. Some become too big, far bigger than our sun. Gravity again. It compresses such stars and they become white dwarfs (or whatever). Gravity, once again. Under its pressure the poor things crack up. They explode and spew out their contents into space. They are called supernovae. All the elements that we witness now are from the bellies of such supernovae. Even those 117 elements found on our earth are from the contents of such superN. The earth was formed out of one those chunks thrown out from a superN – that was about 4 billion years ago. The hot gas/ soup/plasma cooled down slowly slowly. It became our earth. It was still hot for a long long time. Then as cooled own, first life forms were born. Someone told them to evolve; ‘evolve’ as in The Theory of Evolution. (You can guess who told them to evolve. It was not G, but Dar...n). Then, slowly slowly we, humans (“homo sapiens”, that is your grand title) came out, etc, etc, and we were dumped with 117 elements. (“Don’t be greedy, don’t ask for more, be satisfied with what you have and be grateful for it.)

Doubt : “Out of the original plasma of the big bang , and under the influence of gravity, big lumps of matter called stars were born.” Gravity is/was everywhere, acting impartially. So, actually, if you look at it impartially, only ONE FINAL HUGE CHUNK should have been formed! Why so many innumerable clusters should be there? (SUAAWITY.)

Doubt: Why only 117 elements were formed, and not more? (SUAAWITY.)

Doubt: Why light elements like hydrogen are found in huge quantities, and heavier elements like uranium, plutonium are in extremely (very) small quantities? If elements were formed by combination of electrons, protons and neutrons, ALL elements should have been born in EQUAL quantities, ain’t it so? (Don’t you think so?) Answer - (SUAAWITY.)

The above is only a sample. There are a lot many such perplexing puzzles in science. If you want to study, better take up political science. That is a lot more lucrative, and moreover, there, you need not go on clarifying anything logically to anybody.

5.8.14

Cosmic Rays

Recently I read about an experiment to detect cosmic rays, that can be carried out right in one’s home, in the website, About.com. That reminded me of the old college days, when we had studied (a bit) about cosmic rays. And it set off a strange chain of thoughts too.

Long ago, I read a stimulating book titled, ‘The Hundredth Monkey’. There the author (I apologize to the author; I forgot the name.) had described how in the early days of the creation of nuclear bombs, the two most powerful countries, the USA and the USSR in the heat of excitement, used to conduct nuclear tests in the atmosphere. The nuclear blasts produced many types of radiation, some of which (probably radioactive Strontium, I forgot) still persist in the atmosphere of the earth. We are all still inhaling that deadly residue, the author argued. The extremely dangerous effects of radioactive particles need not be elucidated here; everybody is aware of that. Radiation kills, either slowly or quickly, depending on the dosage and the type.

Now, there are three types of particles, alpha, beta and gamma, in an increasing order of energy. All the three types of rays are deadly to humans/life. Here comes the kicker – the ticklish puzzle. You see, the cosmic rays are even more powerful than the gamma rays! Remember, we stared with the experiment to detect cosmic rays inside our homes! Cosmic rays originate in deep space and they bombard the earth continuously. In fact, you can safely bet that they have been bombarding the earth, at least, since life began here. Cosmic rays, we stress, are the most powerful rays in nature to-date. Then, is it not a great mystery that we (human beings, and life forms) have managed to survive – in fact thrive – in such a condition? I am sure somebody must have carried out studies on the effect of cosmic rays on living cells.

In the ignorance of a knowledge of such studies, I would like to suggest a daringly preposterous suggestion. Life on earth must have been triggered by cosmic rays and after these so many millions of years, life must have adapted to their bombardment! Smile.

23.5.14

Placebo effect –the other side.

The comments that follow are to be taken in a strictly humorous way. (We mean it seriously). The mind is supposed to “cheat” the body (in a benevolent way) when a placebo is administered to a person. As you know, the placebo is supposed to be neutral in its effect on the body. Yet, when a sick person takes it under the impression that it is a “powerful medicine” the body of that person actually heals. In such a case, the mind is supposed to have influenced the body, cheating it, as we said, in a benevolent way.

Does it really cheat? Is the body that dumb, to be fooled so easily? It knows, somehow that the ‘medicine’ is no really medicine, but a placebo in fact! It is humouring the mind of that person in two ways. First, it pretends to accept the placebo as a medicine. Secondly, it actually heals itself, just to humour the mind (while benefitting itself)!

You do not believe it? It is quite easy to prove our statement. (For god’s sake, please take what follows with a heavy dose of humour.) Give to a sick person a capsule of cyanide assuring him that it is the latest (and costliest) miracle drug which has been proved to heal that particular sickness in millions of cases....No further arguments. You cannot cheat the body; it is more sapient than the mind.

11.3.2014

Why do more men fall?

This is my personal observation. For a long time I have been hearing of, or reading about men stumbling and falling down while walking, either in the house or in the street. (Usually this refers to men of age sixty or above.) I have come across very, very few cases of women falling down! Does it mean that men are ‘unbalanced’?! Or, is it that the fairer sex is physiologically stronger? Dunno. May be my observation is limited. May be, somebody (doctors) might have compiled real statistics. Anyhow, I have put forth my observation since it has been bugging me for quite some time!

Spots on spotlight.

Places and spots have their own special (even mysterious) qualities which cannot be explained in terms of pure science. For example:-

1. I have seen my fair share of cities and towns. But this city of Mysore, where I stay at present has its own specialty. I have been observing (from the past fifteen years) that there are more tall people in this city than other cities! I am mainly referring to the southern part of India. Wherever I go in the city, it seems I am destined to see tall people. I mean people who are far taller than the average men you notice daily. There must be some mysterious power in this city that makes people grow taller – or attract tall men to the city!

2. There is another area of approximately 2 kilometers square in area, here where you see far more number of aged people, than can be expected by an average count; aged, sixty and above. The phenomenon is noticeable, that is it. Another peculiarity is that a good many of them are loners! This city was once dubbed as pensioners’ paradise. May be that must have got something to do with this.

PS. Watch out. We will be adding more such items in this page.
20.3.14

3. Of course, there are these two spots at the edge of two roundabouts.(That is, in the city where I live.) Vehicular accidents occur here very frequently. Note: Considering an area of three kilometers around these spots, the percentage of accidents occurring here is 200 to 400 times more! I have witnessed the reverse phenomena also. There is a small stretch of road here. The daily evening scene is like this:- To the left of the road there is a playground where they play football – the Indian type, played with legs. Kicking the ball etc, you know.) The ground is elevated with respect to the road, by about ten feet. The statistics:-

1. On the road, vehicles in both directions pass by the playground every TWO SECONDS. 2. The football, during the course of being kicked about, flies over the protective compound and lands on the road – every THREE MINUTES. The play usually lasts for one and a half to two hours. On the road side of it, not only vehicles, but pedestrians also walk continuously. Repeat. People and vehicles are continuously passing on the road, and the football is landing on the road every three minutes. Yet, the ball has not hit any pedestrian or vehicle (includes many two-wheelers) from one year! I have been watching the area daily. No accidents, nobody hurt! If this is not a miracle, what else is? I have decided that the place is protected by some spirit or angel!

PS. Watch out. We will be adding more such items in this page.

Note: The entries below are to be taken with a pinch of humor.(and more, if you are in the mood)

The Great Google Effect

** Evolution of man may stop or reverse when his brain is considered. It is like this. In the past, human brain had to cope with a lot of work like storing huge amounts of information and be able to retrieve it. Memory, especially delights in playing impish tricks when vital information is to be retrieved! The poor brain was forced to do very complicated calculations, to try its best (often without success) to understand intricate subjects like science, mathematics etc. In spite of coping with all that, the lifespan of a human brain is small and the amount of time available for searching, obtaining serious information was little indeed, what with purchasing of quality books being a prerogative given to few.

Now, all that has changed. Google has arrived, established itself and entrenched and entwined into our lives! The brain can save itself a lot – quite a lot -- of labour and sweat and frustration. There is so much unimaginable amount of information out there, on a platter so to say, that the brain can relax...

Thus, it can be predicted safely that in the future generations mankind will have less and less use for the brain. The brain may get smaller and smaller; and finally may become just an appendage – like the coccyx! I call this The Google Effect!

Mathematics

I have a love-hate relation with mathematics. No doubt, it is rightly called the queen of sciences. To fully understand the depth and breadth of mathematics is not possible for ordinary mortals like you and me. (Sorry, there, for including you; it is a generic term) That is why I hate it!

So, what do I do? I let off my steam, I thumb my irreverent nose at it thus:-

Even after three thousand years, they are unable to square a circle.

It took them more than 250 years to prove a simple theorem like Fermat’s Last Theorem.

They have not been unable to find a simple formula to unveil all the prime numbers there are.

The most simple (sounding) conjecture, like the Goldbach’s conjecture has not been proved.

Ah, and if mathematics were up to the mark, those guys should have by now formulated at least FIVE TOEs (Theory of Everything)

Amen.

Entropy

Sometimes one gets strange thoughts. These strange thoughts occur due to reading strang subjects in science; entropy, for example.

The main idea behind entropy is something called ‘disorder versus order’, which at times (no, most of the time) is very confusing. To add to your woes, the boffins add mathematical formulae, and then you are lost! The main, agonizing theme of entropy is that the entropy of the universe is always increasing unrelentingly. (read disorder, whatever that means to you.) I can’t help it; this concept (they claim it to be an unshakeable law) bothers and irritates me no end. So, I decided to defy it. This is how I did it.

The other day, a friend of mine wanted a small job done; repairing an instrument. I volunteered. I had to go to another friend for that, who informed me that the job could not be done since the object was beyond repair, or impossible to repair, that it was better to buy a new gadget, bla, bla. This enraged the adamant inner child in me. I won’t bother you with details. I got the job done; I got the gadget repaired by spending a lot of time and energy.

THERE! That convincingly defied the God-like Second Law of Thrmodynamics as far I am concerned. I am contented.
6.10.2013

Poor Human Bodies

The earth is being constantly bombarded by so many things: magnetic fields, solar flares, electromagnetic waves of innumerable ranges (TV, internet, communication, radio etc), cosmic rays, sound waves (man-made), cosmic background radiation, neutrons, neutrinos, photinos, zinos, higgsinos. The list includes many other endless kinds of particles – all dangerous.

That is to say, that the bodies of all of us are being pelted (a mild word. Some of them can clean pass through our bodies, those invisible bullets) by these particles incessantly. It is a wonder that the human body is surviving amidst this bombardment!

I do not know for sure, but has anybody studied the effect of these particles on the human body? I wonder.

Besides, they say that the remnants of the dangerous radiations that were produced in the initial days of nuclear bomb testing are still in the earth’s atmosphere. (Some of them have ‘life-times’ of hundreds of years!)

The thought makes one wonder and shiver.
16.10.2013
Why write?

Why do people write? There are many reasons. How about this?

You want to discuss a great idea you have, or a particular problem with your friends. You begin to open your mouth. You can’t say what you have to say in one sentence, let alone a word. Like steps in a mathematical equation, you have to lay out your thoughts one by one in a linked order.

What happens actually the moment you start the conversation? You have no chance, poor you. Your very first word or sentence triggers off an avalanche of divergent responses from your friends. Unfortunately, if you respond to one of them, that will trigger another unending diversions! The conversations would have started in some direction and ended in quite another unconnected direction.

Sometimes, your friend may not be even bothered to listen to you. He has heard you, of course, but he is thinking of something else privately. Or your friend has an allergy towards the topic you want to discuss. Many times he may not have the time to hear you out. He may be filled up with his own worries.

You are left with nobody with whom to share, share the way you want to. You watch this happen year after year. The pressure builds up; you want to express.

So, what do you do? You begin to write!

That is why blogs are so immensely popular.
26.10.2013

Fermat’s last theorem, with a smile.

Fermat’s Last Theorem is one of the most famous puzzles in mathematics. It took more than 200 years to solve the problem. Volumes and volumes have been written on it. It was rumoured that there was even a prize of 100000 dollars for anybody who could solve it! It was solved recently.

The irony of it was that Fermat had written the theorem in the margin of a book, with the comment that he had found a simple proof for his theorem. But the present proofs are so intricate that ordinary man cannot follow them. And, we have to keep in mind that mathematics was not so much advanced then, as it has now. His ‘theorem’ was simple enough. You can always find three numbers (integers) such that when two are added the sum will be equal to the third number. This is damn easy – kindergarten stuff, or less. Next, increase the power of the numbers, like squaring them; and then cubing them. You can always find three numbers such that the sum of the squares or cubes of two of them will be equal to the cube of the third (a³+b³=c³). Now, what Fermat’s theorem says is that this equation is not possible for powers above 3 (like, 4,5, ...any number above three).

I FOUND HIS SIMPLE SOLUTION! (Smile, or laugh – the choice is yours)

The operating word is 3 ,“three”. You have to see that the equations represent geometrical properties – like a square, a la Pythagoras’s Theorem, and cubes, like dice, say. In our PHYSICAL world, you can construct and add cubes, ok? Ours is a three dimensional world.

That is why the Fermat’s theorem holds good up to number three and not above that! So simple! (I don’t know if the prize of 100000 dollars still stands.)

Solomon & DNA

You know the story. Two women brought a baby to king Solomon’s court. Each was claiming the baby, contending vociferously that the baby was hers. The arguments of each party were equally convincing. There seemed to be no way of deciding the case justly. The spectators held their breath, wondering how Solomon would solve the problem.

Solomon solemnly ordered his court attendant, “Cut the baby into two, and give half of it to each woman!”

Everybody present was aghast.

The real mother of the baby fell on her knees and cried out, “Oh, king, do not cut my baby. Give it to her, so that I at least he will be alive!”

All there knew who the real mother was.

Solomon made a mistake. He should have ordered a DNA test.

Vehicles – A Boon And A Bane

We modern men cannot live without vehicles; they are a boon from technology. But they are a bane too. The background is like this.

In the city where I live, there are no sidewalks in most streets. I am sure this applies to many, many cities in the world. The poor pedestrians are forced to share the road with the moving vehicles. If you are on any side of the road, the vehicles will either come rushing at you, or speed past you from behind, almost brushing you aside contemptuously. Among the many physical, biological, psychological effects this has on the walker, I want to focus on the biological.

Man may be Homo sapiens, but his body still reacts like an animal. When an animal sees an object moving at it with speed, the animal automatically interprets as an attack; as a threatening situation. I argue that the same reaction occurs in a human being when a speeding vehicle approaches him. It does not matter if his conscious mind sees the vehicle as a symbol of civilization. It does not matter if his modern mind tells him that a human being is driving that vehicle and that vehicle is under control. I repeat, the vehicle speeding at him induces a host of primordial biological reactions in his body, which he may not be aware of. I am sure, a biologist can rattle out more than two dozen chemical reactions that take place inside the body at such a scene. This subject is worth a study. (Even the sound of the vehicles honk will be interpreted by the body as a roar or growl.)

Vehicles coming from behind you are more dangerous. You are being attacked from behind, and you are defenseless! The body is under tension all the time you are walking. God knows what harmful chemicals the glands are flooding your body. Considering all this, it is great wonder that the percentage of sick people in the civilized world is so less!

I seriously suggest that biologists study this phenomenon of the effect of vehicles on human bodies. I bet they will discover any number of harmful reactions.

This is the price we are paying for enjoying the benefits of technology.

Uroborus

Among the many branches of science, the physical sciences, especially, that of particles physics induces peculiar, indescribable emotions in you. (Strictly speaking, emotions have no place in particle physics – it is all, instruments, measurements, and maths.) There is something called “reductionism”, which, can be roughly described as follows.

The whole universe with all its complexities, including life, mind, (and ‘soul’, if you believe in it) etc can be understood in terms of its constituents.

So far, so good. The problematic knot (and also the one you are going to feel in your stomach) begins when you come down to the actual, ultimate break-up of the universe. The whole universe, we mean all of it can be broken down to a few fundamental particles; probably half a dozen, There is what is called a ‘standard model’ in physics which gives you a list. Thus, the whole universe is made up these tiny-weenie things like electrons, protons, neutrons etc. Even now you may say, so far so good (or even, marvelous).

But, unfortunately, you see, the universe has a planet called earth. Unfortunately, the planet is inhabited by a 7 billion human beings, apart from other forms of life more numerous than them. Unfortunately again, human beings possess life. (Any doubts on that?) Painfully and unfortunately again, humans have a mind. (Hope you do not doubt that, too). They experience a wide range of emotions: tears of joy, tears of grief, wonder, humour, terror, confidence, boredom and so on and so on (undeniable). Unfortunately, (sorry, there. That unfortunate word seems to have stuck to me like epoxy resin,) this is the stage where you are going to receive a very jolting punch.

You see, they (the boffins) see nothing special in ‘mind’. Mind is one of the results of the brain in action. You may still grumble and say, OK. You know what that functioning of the brain is? It is nothing but innumerable neurons ‘firing’ in your brain. The firing is electrical activity. Electricity, is the activity of electrons! Ergo, when you think you are thinking something seriously, it is only the immense activity of electrons. That goes for animals – and life too. If you utter, ‘soul’, it is a mental concept, an activity, which is only, as we said, the immense activity of electrons!

Got it? Mind, life -- everything is a play of electrons and (their cousins). Don’t feel agitated on reading this. That emotion is in reality, only a play of electrons; as also is that knot you are now feeling in the pit of your stomach. Finally, in desperation you may scream. “How about me? The real me, down there? I feel it as solidly as this table I am thumping.” Cool down. That glorious ‘me’ (that is, you) is only a survival mechanism created by the brain, they assure you. And that again, dear soul, is the play of electrons. That is the final verdict; scream, shout all you like.

Only, one nagging doubt remains. If everything is electrons, then even the study of science is an activity of electrons! Then why study science at all? – there is nothing special in it! Ultimately electrons are doing everything. Electrons exist, electrons are in constant motion, electrons are looking at electrons, electrons are ‘thinking’ about electrons.

Shut down the bloody universe!!

Big Bang – Unholy hurry

My usual grouse against Science. This is a beautiful, sophisticated argument, but you have to appreciate the hidden thread of humor too.

See, it is like this. When an event is still occurring, you do not come to a conclusion about it. If you are watching a marathon tennis match of five hours, you do not know how it is going to end; you have to patiently watch and wait it out. So, with a thriller you are reading; you cannot prepare a review of it until you have FINISHED reading it. You do not judge a movie till you have come to the last scene. This argument is more cogent when it comes to scientific matters.

Ok?

Now, take the grand event, the grandest of them all, the mother of all events, to use the latest catch phrase. It is the Big Bang! They say it started about fourteen billion years back. The most important to note is that the Bang is not over yet. It is still happening; the universe is still expanding. There is no knowing when it is going to stop! After another fourteen billion years?

So, we cannot, in all honesty, draw any conclusions about it right now! We cannot concoct (sorry for that word. If you want, you can substitute ‘fabricate’ in its place.) any theories on Big Bang. Gentle readers, we have to wait patiently (stress it) till the Big Bang is over to know the true meaning of it! What say?

Strong & weak forces; the irony. LOL

This is serious business; this is Science, with a capital. But you cannot help laughing out aloud in incredulity when you look at at in the light of solid, undeniable common phenomena of this world.

First – Consider an almost inaudible fart your roommate is compelled to expel. You hear it, but surely the man in the street cannot hear; the sound has a petty range. (Sorry for using that f-starting word, but you will see it is appropriate, at the end of this article.) On the other hand, the deafening boom of a thunderclap can be heard many miles away. I hope all of you agree with this. Ok?

Now, observe the contents of the table given below. It lists the properties of the four fundamental forces in nature.

Force Strength Range

Strong 1 10^-15

Weak 10^-6 10^-18

Electromagnetic 1/137 Infinite

Gravity 6x10^-39 Infinite

Did you notice the funny thing? The ‘strong’ force is denoted as having one unit of strength, and gravity as having such a tiny force that when compared to 1, it is impossible to even visualise the smallness of its strength. But, yes, another but and one more but, the RANGES of the forces is in direct reversal of their power, their might, so to say.

Therefore, based on that revered analogy, I deduce the following theorem:- A fart can be heard at outer boundary of the universe, whereas, you cannot hear the sound of the thunderclap even when it explodes at tip of your nose!! Come on, you cannot deny the theorem, if you seriously trust science.

Ps. Do not tell me to go and read such and such a latest book on science by so and so, to understand the above paradox. You know what? Satan has gifted science with a magic wand called mathematics. Mathematics can explain anything; even prove black to be white and small to be big. My serious advice, if you want peace of mind, is – don’t go deep into science! But, on the other hand, be smart. Enjoy the fruits of its labour, namely, technology and live happily.

25.2.2014

Embrace of Sun and Earth

I got this funny doubt. May be it is kindergarten stuff for you science geeks, but I hope it will sure raise a few chuckles in your throats.

Hang two magnets by threads separated by a big distance. Now bring the two nearer and nearer (in air, still suspended.) At certain point, the two will attract each other (their opposite poles facing each other, it is presumed). The point to notice is that BOTH the magnets will move towards each other – like lovers eager to embrace.

Now, in the heavens, there is this sun and this earth. Both have gravity. Sun attracts earth gravitationally, and earth ,the sun, likewise. Notice, notice, notice that the two globes are not even suspended by threads – they are hanging freely in space; no friction, nothing to hinder their movement at all. Therefore, the sun and earth, like those magnets should have moved toward each other, and our earth should have got stuck to the sun, got itself promptly incinerated and all. Similarly, sun should have gobbled up all the other solar planets too!! By this account, it is a real miracle that the earth is still here (along with funny guys like us) after all these four, point something billion years. Can any of the enlightened readers solve this intriguing puzzle?
4.3.14

Final answers – your choice.

It is inevitable that we, as human beings cannot help asking questions like: What is life? How was the world created, and by whom? Is this world one of appearances, or is there a deeper reality behind it? Is there god? Come to think of it who exactly are we, when we refer to us as “I, I, I.”?

There are two choices left for you when you seek answers to such questions. The first is the scientific way. Modern science began, say from the period of Galileo. Now, ponder this. a) Science has been growing (tremendously, of course) for a period of say, 500 years, and has accumulated a vast amount of knowledge. b) It has taken the combined effort of thousands of scientists to achieve it. c) As yet, Science has not come up with a final answer. d) It is impossible for you as an individual to discover all of the science, or even to study a minute portion of it. e) Most people may not even understand what science is describing. f) An individual’s lifespan is limited. (Hope nobody doubts it!) g) So, if you want a final answer via science, you have to patiently wait for a long time indeed.

The second way is that of the philosophers, mystics and saints. a) They offer the final answer. b) An individual need not spend 500-600 years studying their teachings/methodology. c) Most people can understand what they describe.

Consider your life span and make your choice!

20.8.2015
Humour...A mild dig at MS games

I have the Windows 7 on my pc. Its games section offers me the pleasure of playing “Chess Titans”. Playing chess against the computer gives me immense pleasure. I have become hopelessly addicted to it.

Now for the joke. I lost the first three games. Then I drew the next three. After that, it is win, win and win for me all the way. I played and won the next hundred games! The second rung of the joke is this – I do not know the game at all. I just know how to move the pieces. And yet I have been continuously winning game after game against the computer! As I said, my knowledge of chess is at par with that of a moron; even your average, four year kid can beat me. Then, how do I manage the incredible feat of winning against the COMPUTER? Easy; you too can do it!

Final rung of the joke. You see, Microsoft Games (my Windows 7 version, that is) has kindly offered me to set the difficulty level of the game anywhere between 1 and 10. I am a shrewd man; I always set the difficulty level at 1, one and one only. That way, you can finish the game in five minutes, thrash the darned computer, and go to your other works with a broad smile.

The final punch line. You know what? In this version of the game, you have full freedom to use the, Ctrl+Z keys!!!! I cannot stop laughing. So, every time I make a stupid move (many, many), I just press Ctrl and Z, and merrily make a better move – without even so much as making an apology to the computer.

The last laugh. Of course MS has the last laugh. They know that there are plenty of dull guys like me. They know that guys like me cannot resist the addictive pleasure one gets out of winning always. That is what they want – to get you glued to your chair in front of the screen.
Tailpiece
Latest news: I won hundred games straight! In one game I beat the computer without losing a single power piece of mine (rook, bishop, queen, knight or king! - - smile)!! Thanks to Ctrl+ Z.

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